Seems so hard to take, my high expectations turn so awfully painful, my positive mind keep shouting a thousands of denial and groovy thought, but somehow, i just felt so sad and hollow inside.
It take a lot of effort i've taken to pursued that thing, soaking in sweat in the middle of the hell-hot jakarta's traffic jam had almost killing me, the next day i got caught in a heavy rain and it ruined my best outfit and dont forget how many hours that i spend just to thinking the chance that I supposed to get, the tremendous dream of level raising that also raising my expectaition high above the 7th sky, that made me just like living in a sweet dream.
And Wham!!!! the fact has told me the either way, they hasnt choose me for sure and this torture me like hell, i feel like a worst loser who losing a thing, a very valuable thing... all the beautiful dream has just swept away, my high expectation just made that disaster turn so bad, that made my face grow so pale all day long and my body temperature minimized, feel so cold in here.....
it bad.... very bad..... i felt so damn dissapointed.....
but....
shouldl i wave a white flag now?
Not yet sir..... as you said before, i'm just too young, too many chance that i risked to pass by grieving too much...
for now, i maybe the loser, but next, who knows?
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