who want to die young anyway?

Yeah here i am again, just finished watching ‘The Fault in Our stars’, actually i watched it with a low expectation pressumed, and the movie is somehow great enough to made my rest of weekend so blue,not that the story was so sad, not at all, well yeah, I have this phobia of I_dont_wanna_die_young_especially_by_cancers... well actually i dont want to die, if i could I just want to stay 25, like for ever and ever... oh uh wait, I’m 29, yeah crap happened eh?

but if....

If i should die... i hope my dying day will be on a bright sunny day, up hill, below the biggest trees on that hill,

i hope my dying time will be so quick, so i can feel pain at my ease

and yes, i dont wanna die alone, i wish i'll be the one who die first before my loved ones, 

But then again, i should take a bath... i stink.... lol

Yeah I'm hollow, but trying not being a shallow one...

Yeah, it'a a long weekend and i feel so terribly awful, it is funny though when i feel this miserably lonely and needy yet my silly dignity and pride keep shouting at me to be a strong person, an independent one ya....

But deep down inside, some silly of weaker person of me also crawling and whining the pain of being deserted... And yeah lonely

But yeah, somehow i manage my silly thoughts and somehow still able to put my widest grinning smile to the world, i proud of you dear  wounded me, just keep moving yassh